Ernest Harburg and associates at the University of Michigan followed couples for 17 years and found that their style of resolving conflicts was linked to how long they lived! Read about the article here. This study focused on whether couples express their anger and reach consensus or suppress their anger. Those who suppress their anger appear to be at greater risk for health problems over time.
So the next time you're feeling hurt and angry by something your partner said or did, speak up! Hear Harburg explain further about his findings, and how they differ for males and females, in this podcast.
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16 comments:
I've usually been an anger suppressor, but I want to live a long time, so watch out! By Judith Meyer
I found this article to be interesting. I am very expressive in my relationship with my boyfriend. If I dont tell him that I am mad at him or if I am holding back what I truly want to say to him, then I feel a great weight of anger on myself. However my boyfriend tend to hold his anger in and does not express himself the way I do.
I tend to keep my feelings in but it eventually gets to me after awhile. I let my anger or hurt build up and then I just cry after so long. I would like to be more open. My relationships with everyone I am close to has been affected by my choice of dealing with situations.
This is Richard D. Godley here and this article is somewhat interesting, I express my feeling all the time to my fiance When I get mad at her I supress my anger by talking nice to her, this confuses her.
I usually try to express my feelings because when I dont I tend to dwell on what was said and get stressed out. My partner on the other hand has alot of trouble expressing his feelings especially when we are having a conflict. It's hard to deal with sometimes but it is something we are trying to work on together. I thought the article was interesting. By Kimberly Clark
I can relate, I always express the way I feel about something even if it may cause an argument. I can say that I communicate very well.
wow i stay away from arugments because i know first hand how they can destory a wonderful relationship that you will never get back. love is very overrated
I have been marry for 34 years. We don't have a perfect marriage, but we have a good marriage. The key word is communication. Don't go to bed anger with each other, or with anybody.
Dorothy Williams
My husband and I always discuss with each other our anger, aggressions, everything. We try not to hold anything back. Especially now with a new baby.
Kellie Alligood
"Tina Dunn"
Stress can have a horrible effects on a person and can cause some life threatening illnesses. It can cause a person to have many health related issues such as high blood pressure, stomach ache, anxiety, depression, drug abuse and social issues just to name a few.
It will be truly helpful to all individuals to reduce as much stress as possible. Their are way we can deal with stress to help better ourselves both mentally and physically. Talking about our feelings is better than holding them in. We need not worry how the other person may react, that can be dealt with later. We never want to hurt another's feelings but sometimes this has to be done in order for us to feel better and get things off of our chest.
I have learned this the hard way. I use to hold everything in and it made me sick. I express myself more freely but still get anxiety attacks. It is truly not a good feeling as you feel as if you cannot breath and feel you are going to have a heart attack. There are meds for this but who wants to take something unless they really have to. No one truly knows the long term side effects.
So people, let loose and let it out so we can live long and prosperous. You too Mrs. Meyer. :-)
Tina Dunn
PSY 241 BCCC "Spring 2008"
Wow I found this very interesting. I tend to hold my feelings in because I don't want to satrt a bigger argument or hurt anyones feelings. I have always been like that,even in my relationships. But hey might be time to change!
This was very insightfull. I never really thought how important expressing feelings to each other are. Now i will keep it in my mind and pratice this when i eventually get married.
Dennis McKinney
I've learned from my husband its better to get things out if I'm bothered about something. It actually makes me feel better when I voice my concerns or opinion and it makes a relationship stronger instead of keeping things all bottled up inside.
Wow! I never would have thought that the way you express your anger could determine how fast you die. I realize that talking out your problems and hearing the other person's feelings is the healthiest way to deal with anger.
Susan Braddy(WHS)
This is very interesting! I express myself very vocally when I am angry. I tend to not let anyone get a word in. By me reading this article I think that I should maybe resolve things more rationally in order to live longer. -April Woolard (WHS)
My friends and family will be quick to tell you that I'm not shy when I get angry. But maybe that's a good thing for me!
Emily Smith
SHS
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